Constructing an opening, engaging an audience

My film opening starts when two girls are saying goodbye to each other. There is a short shot reverse shot sequence as they say goodbye. The camera stays with one of these girls to show her journey home alone in the dark. There is a long take with the camera in front of her, moving backwards as she walks forward slowly in the dark. A close up shows she stands on a newspaper and then notices there are articles about serial killings in the area. There is a sequence of close ups of the titles and pictures in the article as well as reaction shots of the girl. A russling noised can be heard in the bushes and the girl turns around. She carries on walking but continues to hear noises and notices a strange masked figure. She starts running and handheld camera is used to enphasise the action as she is chased. The opening ends with the girl tripping over, the masked person catching up, a scream and then a close up of the mask being taken off and held by the persons side but we don't see their face. This is when the title will appear.